Chapter One: Road to Resilience, The Birth of Information for Life

“The only journey is the one within.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

The hardest shifts in life often begin inside us, as poet Rainer Maria Rilke’s epigraph suggests. It came out of grief, a damaging relationship, therapy, and the decision to stop letting other people define my worth. What started as wreckage eventually became a clearer sense of direction.

From Tremors to Transformation

If life is a narrative, then I’ve had chapters that felt more like tragedies than comedies. I entered into a relationship with someone who, after careful analysis and therapeutic exploration, exhibited strong narcissistic traits. I wasn’t dealing with this in a vacuum. The disorienting relationship came hot on the heels of the devastating loss of my long-time partner. I was already emotionally vulnerable after the loss of my life partner, and this new relationship was like an aftershock to an already devastating quake. Both events were seismic in scale, shaking the foundational structures of my emotional well-being. But they also forced me to learn what my own resilience was actually made of.

Service, Education, and Perspective

My decade in the military as a civil engineer gave me discipline, structure, and a close view of how people respond under pressure. That chapter of my life was followed by higher education and then six years as a counselor at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Those two worlds, one rigid and one deeply human, shaped the way I think. They taught me to care about evidence without losing sight of pain, context, or compassion.

Getting Pulled Back Into Social Media

I had spent years mostly avoiding social media, but that relationship pulled me back into it. What I found there was a lot of negativity, shallow certainty, and conflict disguised as conversation. Despite caring about evidence and context, I got pulled into that mess too. Part of that was emotional strain. Part of it was my own failure to slow down, stay grounded, and respond with the rigor I value.

The Turning Point

There came a point when I realized I was giving one person’s perspective far too much power over how I saw myself. Therapy helped me see that my worth could not rest on the judgment of someone who was struggling with her own instability and insecurity. That realization brought me back to myself.

Why Information for Life Exists

That relationship forced me to look harder at the damage certain people can do. It also pushed me to take what I had learned and make it useful to others. With encouragement from close friends, that became a research-based podcast and this book.

What Comes Next

Today I do that work with a microphone, a keyboard, and a commitment to evidence, compassion, and plain speech. In one sense my counseling career ended. In another, it just changed form.

An Open Invitation

I encourage you to email me directly with questions or suggestions for future topics at [email protected]. All podcast platforms and social media links are available at https://linktr.ee/askinformationforlife. I’ve learned that the more we know, the more we realize just how much we don’t know.

I’m glad you’re here. I hope something in these pages helps you think more clearly, stand your ground when you need to, and build a better life with open eyes.

Further Reading

This chapter does not include any external sources. All the information and experiences shared are personal to the author.